Shallow
by Alva Starr
Summary: "Look, what happened last night shouldn't have happened. We were drinking and I didn't know! I didn't know you were with Carol." Myka said with regret and absently ran her fingers over the bruise on her cheekbone. Daryl sat beside her. "I'm not with Carol, she's just a friend." Myka had to ask, "does she know that?" Daryl/OC set early season 4
1. Chapter 1

**_Heads up: If you are a fan of Carol/Caryl you probably won't want to read this-she is the antagonist in the story. _**

**_*I do not __claim that I write the TWD characters exactly like the show writers do. In fact I write my own interpretation and you may find them out of character and disagree with my take and opinion. But this is fanfic and I am taking many liberties to write the sort of story I need to write at this time. It's purely my imagination at work here. I know that Carol in particular may seem out of character-I am just going in a direction that is a "what if" a "could have __happened" to her as a result of trauma of the ZA, losing her daughter, etc., because thats what fanfic can be. Daryl too may seem out of character as I delve more into his discomfort with relating to people, especially women. I am in no way saying he is a weak man; I am attempting to show him as a protective, kind hearted guy with respect for, but naïveté when it comes to women. I hope you see his growth and learning curve as the story progresses. Myka has flaws but what real woman doesn't? I'm not interested in creating or writing a perfect OC. She has a learning curve too. _**

**_*As always thanks for reading. I appreciate you all for taking the time to read my piece. _**

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It wasn't the first time she'd been singled out. Myka observed the purple bloom, getting darker on her left cheekbone, in the small cracked hand mirror she'd salvaged on a run not long ago. A mauve shadow was starting to form beneath her eye now.

Luckily the slice in her forearm was just that and not a serious wound that needed stitches. The pain and embarrassment of the previous night hurt more than her injuries. The shame and sense of isolation switched her gears into run mode. She needed out.

_"I'm gonna cut you bitch stay away from my man"_ Myka heard the line in an exaggerated New York accent like Rizzo from Grease, and wanted to laugh but it wasn't funny and it hadn't been a movie parody when Carol attacked her. Luckily Rick stepped in and wrestled the knife away from the enraged woman. Afterward he'd accused Myka of starting trouble and reprimanded her like a dad. He and the group had a true love for Carol, and because Myka was a fairly new resident of the prison Rick saw what he wanted to see. As usual. People were shallow. She cringed. She hadn't started anything. It wasn't that Myka was a wimp, she could handle herself if she had to, but Carol's onslaught was a sudden and complete shock. Add to that the shots of whiskey she'd consumed earlier and Myka was off her game.

As she paced her cell feeling alone and out-of-place she wondered if she could really direct all the blame at Carol. Daryl had come on to her and after months of their developing friendship he hadn't once mentioned he was with Carol. Myka knew the two were close, but assumed it was a friendship. Daryl never let on to her that there was more going on. Carol had experienced horrible tragedies including the loss of her daughter and Daryl had supported her though hard times. She understood and respected he was a private person, but fucking hell, she never would have kissed him back if she'd known he was taken. _What the fuck was he doing? He had no business leading me on._

Her mind raced back to the second confrontation earlier that morning. She kept hearing the things Carol had said to shame her and put her further out of place in Carol's prison family. Those vile things Daryl let Carol say. "What kind of whoring slut are you anyway? Why we ever let you in here I'll never understand..." Carol spoke loudly, unhappy to see Myka at the common table following her threats the previous night.

Myka put her head in her hands. So much for breakfast she thought. She stood to leave, but Carol continued and the table was silent. All eyes on were on the dark-haired girl with burning cheeks and a black eye forming.

"Just walking up to Daryl and kissing him like that? Maggie, Karen you'd better watch out and keep an eye on your men with this whore around. Right Daryl?"

"He walked up to me...he kissed me..." Myka began to defend herself but her voice faded to nothing when she noticed the grim accusatory faces staring at her.

Daryl looked pained but nodded. Carol grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Maybe the older woman was right? Carol was just protecting what was hers. As the mother hen of the group she loved and cared for everyone and when threatened she lashed out; still, the outburst surprised Myka. Her problem was that Daryl led her on and basically set her up.

_Why would he do that? Why does he let Carol treat him like her lapdog? She should have shortened his leash last night. __Fuck People. I can't deal with people and their social bullshit. Lies and games and eventually someone becomes the target._ Myka was now the scapegoat for the group. Every small, insular community always ends up with one person onto whom they channel anger and frustration. It started with this Carol thing; now she was labeled trouble.

Myka shook her head but her mind continued to race as her stomach churned with the nausea of shame and loneliness. She'd never felt right here at the prison anyway. Rick's group was all a little too goody two shoes. Too fake. All community on the surface but backstabbing underneath.

... ... ...

"Hey!" Myka surprised herself when she shouted after Daryl. She spotted him about to head outside later that morning. He stopped and turned letting her approach.

"What was that today?"

"What?"

"Not saying anything to Carol. Not telling her the truth."

He was silent.

"Why do you let her push you around?" Myka's anger spiked. "Its like you...you are different around her. Is that who you really are?"

"Fuck you know?" Daryl felt trapped; he didn't like confrontation with women. With men you fought, beat the shit out of each other if it came to that. But a girl? Its why he hadn't spoken up earlier. He didn't want to hurt Carol. But he'd hurt Myka. He hadn't wanted to upset either of them, but didn't know how to fix it now. Women were fucking confusing.

"You're afraid of her aren't you?"

"I aint afraid of nothin'!" He backed Myka up to the wall and snarled in her face. "Goddamn slut! You don't know me..." He hurled the words in anger and confusion. Daryl was ashamed that he'd let Carol treat Myka that way and that he hadn't stood up for her, but being confronted this way threw him. He felt worse, so he snapped. He regretted it immediately when she pushed him off and stumbled backwards, color draining from her already pale face.

"Got it." Was all she said before leaving him. He punched the wall but she was already gone.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. ... .

That afternoon, as she walked through the common room, past the kitchen area, the strong smell of bleach assaulted Myka. The other women were cleaning. They avoided her gaze and but she heard the snickering as she passed.

For a moment she tried to convince herself that the bleach was why her eyes still stung but she knew better. She suddenly felt trapped. _Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You've made it on your own before, you can do it again. You don't need any of these people. _Getting out and walking to clear her head and make plans was what she needed. The breeze from the window was crisp and reeked of autumn, and she knew she needed the outside. She zipped her hoody and practically ran out the door. Carl was manning the gate and let her outside without any prying questions or warning to be careful. She liked that kid. He respected people's privacy.

Half mile down the road she tried to focus on the crunch of leaves beneath her boots. She was a strong woman, but even the strong break down sometimes. The pressure she put on herself was to blame, and she knew she would be fine after this walk and some more tears. She knew better than to fight it, and just let them fall. The cool air left her cheeks cold and stinging. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew exactly where she would end up, the creek.

Nestled in the middle of the woods was a small creek surrounded by large rocks. She made the short climb to her favorite rock and planted herself tucking her knees below her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. She looked at the beauty of her favorite spot, and felt the tears start to well again. She sighed with annoyance but let them fall. She buried her face in her forearms and allowed the tears to be soaked up by her sweatshirt, the cool breeze ticking the loose hairs on the back of her neck that broke loose from her ponytail.

She'd always done fine on her own why did she even let herself get close to Daryl? When you start to care you weaken yourself. She really didn't know he was with Carol. That woman seemed so much older than him it never crossed her mind, but hey there is someone for everyone. Carol was thin, but bony, angular and sharp. Her breastbone was prominent jutting beneath the skin. She was not a soft or sensual woman. All hard, sharp, jagged edges, not someone who'd feel good to hold in your arms.

Carol's small, pinched face and tight thin lips made her expressions severe. Austere like a disapproving schoolmarm. When she smiled she looked better but her eyes disappeared into deep crows feet. Myka was most struck by how gray the woman seemed. Gray toned from her short cropped hair to her tired complexion over hollow cheeks the colorless aura covered her form. Gray a study in gray was how Myka saw her. Was she jealous of that? Not really. If Daryl was happy with Carol and found that attractive, who was she to say. The son of a bitch just should have been honest with her.

"Myka?" Her head shot up and she looked around. Daryl stood in the middle of the path. She had a flash of a memory that she'd told him about this place. They were all talking about their favorite places, and while the others in the group blabbed on and on about the Bahamas and Tahoe places from before, Daryl and Myka had a branched off, like they usually did, and she told him about her rock at the creek. She didn't think he ever told her his...

"Daryl you shouldn't be here." She turned away from him, wiping the tears from her face.

"Shit, Myka, are you hurt?"

She felt sudden overwhelming shame that he was going to see her like this.

"No...no, I'm ok. I just came out here to think. " She could hear that he had made his way to the top of the rock, and her back was still to him as she tried to discretely blow her nose and clean herself up to face him.

"Thought…" he cleared his throat, "I heard you crying..."

She chuckled a little and turned towards him, looking up at him since he was standing while she was still sitting. "Oh, I am." She laughed again, and the tears began to fall. She was not looking forward to having to explain herself. She didn't want to admit how weak she was. She didn't want to show him, or anyone, that part of her. The altercation with Carol and his tirade of hurtful insults had embarrassed her enough. The last thing she wanted was for him to think he'd broken her. That any of them had. In fact she had no idea why he was even here. He made it clear what t he thought of her. _Goddamn slut, what makes you think I'd want a whore like you all over me. _He'd left her on the ground last night after Carol had rained blows on her, left her bruised and bloody in front of the whole group.

"That stuff I said this morning..." His voice was almost inaudible and he rubbed his hand over his scruffy cheek. "I uh…"

"Whatever. If that's what you think…"

"It's not."

"You said it."

He was silent.

"Look what happened last night shouldn't have happened we were drinking and I didn't know! I didn't know you were with Carol." She absently ran her fingers over the bruise on her cheek bone.

"Myka…" He sat beside her.

She turned to him filling her hands with fistfuls of his shirt as she sobbed into his chest. He held her to him, rocking back and forth slightly as she soaked his shirt with her shameful flood of emotion. She didn't know how long they sat there, but soon her sobs had calmed down to only a few little hiccups here and there, and her hands hurt from holding his shirt so tightly.

"I want to be pissed at you…I mean I am pissed, but I want to hate you. I want to tell you to fuck off…but..." Daryl was so different when he wasn't around Carol. He wasn't being led around like a goddamn dog named Pookie or something pathetic like that. He acted like a man when Carol wasn't around.

She loosened her fists and placed her palms against his chest. He was still rocking back and forth and she kept her eyes closed savoring the feeling of absolute comfort. It had been a long time since she had been this close to someone physically, and had forgotten how wonderful it felt to be comforted. She let him rock her, feeling the light pressure of his cheek against the back of her head where he had let it rest.

As her crying died down she was able to breathe through her nose again. Daryl smelled like the woods and sweat; it made her smile to herself a little. She noticed that she had started unconsciously rubbing her thumb back and forth on his chest and stopped instantly. Daryl felt pretty solid. She had never noticed before. But now she could feel his strong arms around her, and his lean muscles under her hands, and she had a sudden urge to bury her face in his neck and kiss it softly.

She stiffened in his arms, and she could tell he noticed because he stopped rocking. It was just the physical connection, she told herself. She was upset and feeling vulnerable and he was just...here. It had been a long time since she'd let anyone touch her like this. She wasn't one of those people you hugged every time you saw them. And neither was he. She started to pull away and he didn't resist. She kept her gaze down and mumbled an "I'm sorry," as she wiped a few straggler tears from her face. She flashed her eyes up at him, seeing a sad look on his face as he reached across the space between them, put his hand on the side of her face and wiped a tear away.

"Yeah. I mean...I just...yeah..." The discomfort of the moment was hindering her ability to form words but silence felt ominous. There was a battle going on in her brain, but all she could show on the outside was her sitting there, in her worn hoody and ratty denim cut offs mumbling and tripping over unformed words and half sentences. She heard him shift away, but couldn't bring herself to lift her eyes to his; her gaze stopped at his mouth. He had a couple of days worth of stubble, and his lips seemed to be strained slightly. She could hear him breathing through his nose, and it was a little quicker than normal. She couldn't look up any further. She knew what would happen if she locked eyes with him and was angry at herself for even thinking of it.

He just sat there. She knew he was waiting. He was not going to make a move. It wasn't who he was. It had to be her. She finally got ahold of her nerves, and without moving her head, finally flicked her eyes upward.

"Look if I hadn't been drinking I'd never make a move on another woman's boyfriend. I swear I'm not like that. Even though it seems like you started it...… look you shouldn't act single if you're not. Fuck you Daryl. That was wrong. Still, you were drinking too. I know how it looked."

"I'm not with Carol."

"She says you are. She attacked me for god's sake…."

"I'm not.'

Myka shook her head. "Does she know that?"

"Yeah..she just... well she wants more and I don't know how to tell her...'

"That's pathetic you know."

He looked down.

"Daryl what do you want?"

He remained silent.

"I think we need to talk, don't you?"

Daryl didn't want to hear this. He stood and glanced at path behind them.

"Daryl? For once, would you just confront something? Why did you come here?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Why?"

"Because..."

She sighed. "What? You don't know?

"I know."

Daryl almost said more, but stopped, realising he wasn't sure what he wanted to express. He wanted her there, and yet he didn't. He wanted to walk over to her, pull her up and kiss her on those full lips, and yet he didn't. He wanted everything to be different. He wanted this clearing to break apart from the universe so there would be nothing left but him and her, away from any guilt, other people, anything that could make him feel exposed. He wanted her. It was terrifying. He almost said it. She saw the opening mouth, and watched it close as he hesitated.

"I thought so," She said. "I think you should leave," She said quietly.

"I don't want to. I'm only going to leave if you tell me you want me to." There was conviction in his tone.

"Of course I don't want you to go," She said quietly after a few seconds.

"You want me here, don't you?"

"It's not that simple. Maybe what I want doesn't matter...doesn't change anything..."

"But I need to hear you say it." Daryl narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. It was bad enough that he was here and he was doing his best to keep himself calm and collected, but then she seemed to be trying to provoke him.

"Daryl, I think that sometimes people need to just say or do what they want. Without reservation. Without giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks." "

"This sounds familiar," Daryl said quietly, looking to the side, thinking of a conversation they'd had once about selfless and selfish people, shallow people.

"I can do it first, if you want."

He shrugged and sat back down. She leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees, her hands clasped just under her chin. He looked away so he couldn't see down her top. It was bizarre to him that even now he could think of wanting to do that.

In a quiet, nervous voice, she said, "I hate this place, the prison. I feel so alone, you know? Feeling lonely hurts way more when you're surrounded by people. On my own... it's just easier. I'm leaving soon anyway."

"What?"

"I'm no good with people. I don't belong here, never did. I shouldn't have stayed so long as it is.."

"That's stupid. You can't make it out there alone. Besides, you're good with me."

"See I thought we were friends. But I got Carol's message. I'm steering clear. In fact I'll be gone tomorrow. "

"Told you I aint with Carol."

"Whatever, she's a crazy bitch and she pulled a knife on me. If Rick hadn't been there…look I don't want to live around her, okay? Or you either for that matter. Not anymore. Be in the middle of whatever you two have going on. "

"Stop it... stop saying that. Carol's a friend that's it. I'm sorry she lost it on you. I'll tell her to cool it, okay?"

"Nah, I'm going. It's what I need to do. Honestly I can't stand anyone in this group. I tried..but they are all so fake. All so one for the community on the surface but as backstabbing as any people I've ever come across."

"Myka no. I don't…want you to go."

"Why not?"

He looked away. "I'm no good at this…"

"At what?"

He shrugged his shoulders and slumped. "You know."

It's funny how two people trying to drown everyone else out can find each other so easily. When she looked up, she caught him looking at her.  
>She buried her face in her hands and felt him shift closer. He didn't say a word as he tentatively slid his arm across her shoulders, pulling her ever so slightly towards him.<p>

Daryl, what are you doing? I need you to leave."

"But...

"Please."

In a fit of annoyance, he stood up and nearly spoke but turned around to look at the water.

A moment later, Myka made a decision. She decided to believe him. She stood and took both his hands in her own. They were close together and he was looking right into her eyes; eyes that burned with heat. Her thick, black hair cascaded down one side and her sweatshirt had slipped down leaving shoulders bare, begging to be touched. He wanted to kiss her skin.

"I aint with nobody. I shouldn't have said those things to you...I'm here cause I wanna be. Cause of you." His voice was rough and stilted."For months," he breathed, "months, I been waking up in the middle of the night, thinking of you."

She moved closer so their lips were only inches apart. "Me? Is this what you want? Really want?" She whispered.

Daryl nodded his head very slowly, unable to take his eyes away from her lips. He moved forward a little, barely conscious of what he was doing. He could feel her fingertips slowly travelling up his arms, over his shoulders and up his neck to cradle his head. Her touch was sensual, yet affectionate. Without another word and without any resistance from him, she closed the gap and kissed him deeply on the lips. Daryl wasn't aware of anything except how soft her mouth felt, how much of her urging he could feel in her lips pressing against his, the quick flicker of her tongue over them. He didn't know how long the kiss lasted; he was far too involved in experiencing her body pressing against his and her hands firmly on his neck and jaw, but an endless second or so later, he moved back. He looked slightly surprised and he was breathing hard. It took him a moment to realise his hand was higher up on her body than he thought. He had no memory of moving it, much less any conscious awareness of holding her head. He looked at it and then let it drop.

"That... was...was that a good thing to do?" Daryl asked quietly.

Myka was already nodding her head, her breathing calming down a little. She smiled slightly as she glanced at his hand, wondering how he would react if she took it and put it on her breast this time. "That was definitely a good thing to do. And I want to do it again."

"So, you stayin'?" Daryl stared hard at her. In that moment her warm smile was blazing and her eyes had never looked so... focused on him. His body was already straining to move forward again just for another kiss; maybe just one more. However, with great effort, he forced himself backwards.

She nodded and moved toward him for anther kiss, but he pulled back. "I think... " Daryl said quietly. Then a moment later, he added, "Not right now. Not yet."

Her eyes widened at the implication of that yet, but her face fell at his hesitation. He gave a quick, small smile, not wanting to reveal too much of his feelings. The truth was, he didn't want to go anywhere and the more he stood there, the more the urge was growing, to kiss her lips again, to move down to her neck and over her shoulders, to begin slipping off that top of hers...

"Myka, please. Just listen," Daryl said in a whisper. "If... What I mean is, when things happen. I need it to start off right. Not behind anyone. Not behind Carol's back. I should to talk to her about this."

Myka regarded him for a few moments before sighing. "And if she doesn't like the idea of it?"

"She's my friend," Daryl answered simply.

"What does that mean? Does that mean you'll step aside and not do anything? You won't go for something you really want?"

"If she's my friend, then she'll... she'll understand."

She didn't look like she believed him so Daryl shrugged. "I have to do this, okay?"

"I know you do. But today okay? Now?"

He nodded, relieved.

"We should get back." She mentioned as the reddening sun lowered into the western treeline.

Once the prison gate was in view Daryl turned to Myka and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. They moved away from each other, smiling, and then his face got serious.

"What's wrong?" She asked, instantly scared for some reason.

"You go on in ahead."

"What? Why?"

"Mind if we keep this to ourselves for a while?"

"But..." She sighed, reality intruding on her fantasy. "I guess not, why?"

"I need to find the right time to tell Carol. She's been through a lot. I wanna tell her in my own time. Not spring it on her."

"Carol, huh?"

"Yeh…you get it, right?"

Myka just nodded._ Carol again. It will always be about Carol._

"So go on, no sense in her seeing us walk in together."

Myka knew then, that she'd made a mistake.

_…__. …. ….. ….. ….. … … … _

The next morning Daryl looked for Myka everywhere.

"She's gone."

Daryl turned to Merle behind him as he stared into her cell thinking it looked empty.

"What do you mean gone?"

"She packed up and lit out at dawn."

"For good?"

"Thats what she said." Merle answered, gripping a toothpick through clenched teeth.

"And you let her?" Daryl practically shouted.

"Why the fuck not? I don't got no claim to the girl."

"But she can't just be on her own out there."

"Like I said Daryl. I don't got a claim on her. Why do you?"

Daryl opened his mouth to speak but before he could answer Merle caught sight of Carol approaching. "Oh hey little brother

grandma's looking for you. Better run along son."


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay you guys are amazing! I never expected such a positive response! You gave me so much love for this little one shot that I had to expand. Everyone who reviewed asked for more, so this is for you guys. See, reviews are powerful; we writers love them and listen to you! Thanks so much to all of you. I heard you and hope I delivered... Much love xx_

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Daryl's eyes flashed between Carol marching toward him and Myka's empty cell.

"What're you gonna do about it, boy?" Merle barked.

"Nothing. What can I do 'bout it? Go out looking for her and if I find her beg her to come back?"

"You gotta do something, don't you?"

"No. I don't. She already done it. Made up her mind. Without even talking to me."

"So that's it? You're just gonna give up?"

"I'm not giving up," Daryl said, his voice growing hot.

"Brother, you look confused." When Carol reached them, Merle added "And you need to be unconfused."

Daryl grimaced while Merle formed a cup with his left hand and held it up as if he were cupping a pair of testicles. Then with the index and middle fingers of his right hand he formed a pair of scissors and simulated snipping off the balls, like he was castrating him. Then, he pretended to hand them to him.

Daryl shook his head and stalked past Carol while Merle chuckled, without humor.

"Where are you going Daryl? Daryl? "

"You ain't like you was back in the camp, a little mouse running around, scared of her own shadow." Merle stated before Carol could follow Daryl.

"It wasn't my shadow, it was my husband's." She answered tight-lipped.

"Well, you don't seem scared of nothing anymore."

"I'm not."

"Hmm. You're a late bloomer."

"People change."

"Yeah." Merle took the toothpick from between his teeth and examined it. "Saw the way you went after that girl last night. Never pegged you for the violent type."

"I was just protecting what is mine. We do what we have to do. The world is different now and you have to know which side you're on. That girl doesn't belong here, she's not one of us. It's not time to do shots, its time to pick a damn side."

"And whose side you on?"

"Daryl's."

Merle nodded. "I'm here for my brother."

"Well, he's here for us."

"You sure about that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you ran that girl off. She's gone." He paused for effect. "Daryl don't seem none too happy about it."

"She's not good for him." Carol narrowed her eyes. "Just because you hate this place and the group, don't put your beliefs on Daryl. He's come so far without you. I won't let you drag him back down to…to your level."

"My level, huh? I don't know what kind of hold you think you have over my brother, but Daryl's my blood."

Carol started to protest. Merle raised his hand. "Look I just wanted to tell you I think you got good fight in you, liked how you handled yourself the other night that's all. But maybe pick on somebody who deserves it next time."

… …. … ….. . …. … … … … … … … .

He may not be too late to track Myka. She'd gotten a couple of hours head start but Daryl was nothing if not a tracker. Merle was right. He had to do something to make up for the way he'd treated Myka.

Carol found Daryl stuffing a few items into his pack. He looked like he was getting ready to head out somewhere.

"Are you going hunting?" She asked, as she leaned on the bars of his cell door.

"You could say that."

"I'm not letting you go after her."

"What?" Daryl turned.

"I know she left. I'm just looking out for you."

"Ain't you a peach?"

"I'm not gonna let you pull away Daryl. You've earned your place."

Myka taking off flipped a switch in Daryl. He was angry at himself but also at Carol. He hadn't wanted to hurt the woman but Myka's words from the previous day fueled him._ Does that mean you'll step aside and not do anything? You won't go for something you really want?" Something you really want..._

He lashed out. "If you spent half your time minding your own business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's, Myka'd still be here!" His tone was angry and his stance aggressive.

"Go ahead." Carol raised her face ready for Daryl to hit her. If that's what he needed she could take it.

"Go ahead and what?" Shock and disgust registered on his face when he realized what she expected of him. She assumed he'd hit her. "Is that what you think of me?" He narrowed his eyes to mask the pain behind them. Carol actually believed he was a man who'd abuse a woman; a monster like his father.

She remained silent.

"Crazy bi..." he muttered. "Just go! I don't want you here! Shoulda' said that a long time ago."

"Daryl you don't mean that. We are good for each other."

He shook his head. "You're a real piece of work, lady. You had no right treatin' Myka like you did. I shouldn't have let you. That's on me and I gotta make it right."

"Daryl you're confused, that girl is no good for you. Besides, I liked you first."

"What the…? Look we're friends Carol."

"Daryl, you're afraid. You're afraid, like I was afraid but you are not alone you have me." She approached and tried to embrace him but he shrunk away, so she grabbed his hand."We have each other. it's how it's supposed to be. I knew from the minute you gave me that flower, that Cherokee rose that you loved me and we were meant for each other."

"Whoa..hold on…" He protested but the pinched faced, brittle woman continued. "You know it too. That girl was a complication and now she's gone. You're my pookie…" She smiled and Daryl felt nauseous.

"I gotta get out of here…."

"Daryl wait…don't you dare go after her!"

Daryl descended the stairs two at a time and made long, aggressive strides across the common room, Carol's angry shrieks followed in echoes.

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"I know you told Daryl to go after that girl. " Carol hissed at Merle while he sat eating his breakfast. She sat beside him.

"Daryl's got his own mind."

"But you're his brother and he listens to you. Why I'll never know. You are no good for him."

"Like I said he got his own mind, not that you been making it easy for him to use it. Yeah, I'm glad he's going after Myka. Bout time stopped being your pussy whipped bitch. You don't like it much do you? He's always been the sweet one my baby brother, he felt sorry for you is all."

"You know... I should've been dead several times over." Carol said, seeming to change the subject.

"Ain't that the truth for us all," Merle replied.

"I think part of the reason I'm not is because people underestimate me. Don't underestimate me."

"Or could be the bigger reason is that people around here keep saving your ass." Merle countered.

Carol ignored him and went on, leaning in close to his face, her expression as icy as her tone. "If he does find her and brings her back here to mess with what Daryl and I have, I will slit her throat while she sleeps." Carol stood. "Enjoy your meal."

... ... .. ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... .

Daryl stepped carefully through the brush, the sounds of crickets and cicada and the smell of turning leaves calmed him. He reflected on the events of the past few days as he slowly followed Myka's trail. Myka was, in her own way, attractive. She had long dark hair that covered most of her face and lent itself to her unassuming demeanor. He wouldn't say she was shy, but that she kept to herself. Much like he did. Her most appealing feature was her eyes. When not hidden beneath her bangs, they were large, doe-like and a little sad but sparkled and conveyed emotion when she talked. She rarely smiled but when she did, it was contagious and lit up her face. Add to that her not too thin, slightly curvy body, she and Carol were a study in contrasts. He felt like shit for the way he'd acted the other night. Complete and utter shit.

_After dinner and his watch shift, they'd taken the bottle of whiskey to his cell on the second floor. They'd been sitting quietly, drinking, enjoying the peace of each other's company. They talked about dogs of all things. He wished he had one. She reminisced about a mutt she'd saved from the pound before the Walker shit __happened. She wondered what happened to him. _

"_You know, you really should let people see your face." Daryl changed the subject suddenly. "You're real pretty." __He was a little drunk, or he'd never have spoken so openly. __Even so, she thought he just was being nice by complimenting her. Still, he cau__ght her off guard. __Her reply was not much of an answer. Her cheeks flushed a bit and she lowered her head, allowing her hair to resume its typical function of shielding her face._

_"I...uh, Daryl…" _

_He sat waiting for her to finish, but she stood and rushed down the stairs to the main floor. Daryl followed Myka to the rear of the stairway. She was very quiet and he mistook her silence for anger, thinking that he must have somehow offended her._

_"Myka, didn't mean to upset you." He said, oblivious to the reality of the situation. In his alcohol loosened state he put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her._

_It was then that she kissed him. It was very sudden and a little clumsy, so he was late to react. Instinctively he began to push her away as gently as possible, but realized this was Myka and this is what he'd been wanting for a while now. It took whiskey courage to break down his nerves. Then she pulled away._  
><em>"Sorry," She said reining in her emotion. "I'm...god, I'm so sorry." She tried to <em>_laugh. _

_"It's okay." He confirmed. "I…" he began, but knew he wanted to kiss, not talk. He covered her mouth with his and this time she didn't stop him. The kiss was mutual. _  
><em>It was then that he'd heard Carol shouting "you white trash slut!" And felt Myka being torn away from him. <em>

It is possible he was a little naive not to realize how possessive Carol was over him and how deep her feelings ran. Since he'd been there for her while Sophia was missing and supported her during the aftermath, she'd become dependent and had even made some sexual innuendos and references to screwing around which embarrassed him so he figured she was joking. _I mean look at her, _he'd thought. Merle called her grandma and his nicknames were usually not far off the mark. Besides she was like a … mom or something. Myka never joked about sex and when they'd kissed, he hadn't been embarrassed at all.

Daryl recognized Myka's boot prints and that they were fresh. He'd catch up soon.

…. ….. …. … … … … … … … … … ..

Alone. Finally Myka could breathe. She always felt better on her own, like she could be herself. No twisting and bending to fit in with other people. She had to leave. She had no support at the prison, people were very wary these days and she'd never been fully accepted by the group. They were a tight-knit core, that had travelled and survived together for over a year. She hadn't expected to transition easily but losing the "new person" tag had proved almost impossible. However, Daryl was the exception. They'd become friends and although he said he wanted more, Carol would always be a shadow. Besides Myka, was accustomed to leaving. Moving on.

She was six when her parents divorced and her dad got custody because her mom's boyfriend was not keen on having her around. Her dad tried to get by, but drank himself to death in just two years. So, at eight years of age, despite having a living parent, she was put into the juvenile care system. She bounced from one foster home to another, often running away, but always being caught, until she was eighteen. She'd been called a runner; hell she'd been in five homes in ten years. _That's two years in each home. You catch a bad one, two years is a lifetime. _So she'd run away.

But, Myka was not a runner. _Two years in each home was plenty of time to figure out how, when, and where you're gonna bolt._

So what was she?

A planner.

She was a quiet girl and despite her chaotic living situation, did well in academics, but, not unexpectedly, failed miserably at social activities. When she was eighteen, her mom showed up. The boyfriend found a younger woman and kicked her out. She came to meet Myka for the first time in twelve years. She needed money, a place to stay. Myka was barely making it on her own, working as a waitress and living in a run down apartment with four other kids. Myka treated her mother with courtesy but politely told her that since she chose someone else over daughter a long time ago, she had no business messing up her life again at this late stage. She never heard from her again until a police officer came a few years later to tell her that her mother was dead.  
>Due to her past, Myka was not the most forgiving person. She was self protective and fiercely independent. If there was one lesson life taught her it was "No one looks after my interests as well as I do." Her father hadn't cared enough for her to stop drinking. Her mother didn't care enough for her to stay, and none of her foster parents cared about anything but the check they received for having her around. However, Daryl had almost become a part of her, in the sense that she had begun to believe she could trust him. But in the end she felt he'd always put Carol first. She'd never be someone's first choice. As usual, she reverted to old coping skills. Leaving. Maybe she was a runner after all.<p>

She planned to head for an abandoned house they'd found on a run a week back. She'd trekked for over an hour, fueled by adrenaline before she felt a presence behind her for a good quarter-mile. She stopped and turned, somehow knowing it was him.

"You tracked me," She said in a dark, defeated voice.

"Yeah I did. Aint my fault you were so easy to find," Daryl said lightly.

Her, less that thrilled to see him, attitude didn't seem to faze him. He was determined to make things right. "Said you weren't gonna leave Myka. I come to find you this morning and you're gone."

"Are you trying to ruin my life?" She said starting to get angry. "What does it matter to you if I leave the prison? I was just trying to find somewhere that I could be happy, find some peace. I am sick of fighting with those people, Carol wanting me out... my life there is a living hell!" She glared at him, her eyes scanning his face for any sign of weakness.

"What happened? Thought we…didnt we talk about this?"

"It can't work out between us cause I'm an asshole when it comes to loyalty and you showed me that you are not the loyal kind."

The woods seemed to grow silent around Daryl as she glared at him and he couldn't help but admire her fight. She called him on his bullshit. No one except Merle ever had.

Myka hadn't realized how close together they had moved. If she put her hand up she could touch his face. So much for personal space. But she couldn't back down, couldn't just let him win. She wasn't capable of something like that. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Go, now," She growled at him through clenched teeth. "Or else."

"Or else what? You gonna throw a fit?" he asked.

"If you don't move, yeah, along with other... more violent actions," She threatened.

"I'm scared. Someone help me." He exclaimed sarcastically. "I'd likely win any fight we had."

"I'm not afraid of you," She replied boldly.

" I aint afraid of you!" he retorted.

"If I wanted you here I would have asked you to come with me, but I didn't, so go away!"

"You want me here." he said with a deadly serious look on his face.

They glared at each other in bitter silence, neither one willing to give up. She had never realized how much work fighting with another person could be. This was a mutual fight, not just Myka yelling. Daryl was pushing back, putting in effort to make her give up. Like he cared about her, cared enough to want to win. This type of fight took will-power, and a lot of it.

She didn't know how long they stood there glaring. Had it been seconds? Minutes? Hours? She couldn't tell.

Finally he spoke, "Why?"

The question caught her off guard. "Huh?"

"Why do you want me to leave?"

_This again?_ They'd done this yesterday. Myka looked at the sky, searching for an answer. Honestly, just as at the creek the day before she was conflicted. Maybe she was afraid, afraid to feel these things because he could hurt her again so easily.  
>"Well?" he asked.<p>

"Because you are invading my privacy, and I don't like it," She answered, avoiding the real reason.

"I think it's something else. It's about Carol, the people at the prison. You think I'm one of them and we're on different sides. That's it huh?" he said thoughtfully.

She looked away.

"I told you I'd talk to her…I thought you said.."

"You are a chickenshit Daryl. You acted like a pussy."

"I deserve that. "

"Look Daryl, Carol's shadow is always gonna be over us. You say things and act a certain way when it's just us, but around the others I don't feel like I can trust it…and I couldn't take another scene like the other night. I think the way you acted hurt me more than anything Carol did."

"I'm sorry. Told you yesterday, didn't mean the things I said."

"I know and I shouldn't have given in so easily yesterday. I thought about this all night. I do have... feelings for you and I am sure in your own twisted way you feel for me too. So, let's move on, away from each other now before something really bad happens. I wanna be a good memory from your past who taught you a small lesson in speaking up and respect, even if it might bring sadness and a 'what if"... I'll be a chance you didn't take, a heart you had to break. What I am not ready to be is a mistake. You know my story. My mother forgot me like a bad mistake. I was a constant reminder of my father's mistake in marrying her and he drank himself to death, sick of looking at my face. I bounced from home to home because no one wanted me. I'm done being a mistake that no one wants. And I refuse to be a mistake you realize you made one day down the road." She lowered her voice. "I am not giving myself to anyone giving me less than a hundred percent in return."

"You aint a mistake."

"You.. said those things to me…" she finally started to break down. "You let her hurt me. Look at my face Daryl.. look. It hurts. Its embarrassing and you just left me there. I don't want to be with somebody who's a chickenshit. There I said it again. You acted like a coward. It hurt so bad," she said through welling tears. "Like someone cut out my heart," She continued, her speech broken by sobs. "While I'm still alive. And after we talked you wanted to hide me, hide our relationship or whatever it was gonna be from everyone; from Carol. What the fuck?"  
>"You're right. I was an asshole. Myka I was wrong. I got no excuse, I thought I was helping Carol. I … I'm sorry." He comforted, unsure whether to hold her. "Didn't mean to make you cry," he said apologetically. "It's ok Myka. Everything's gonna be ok," He still hesitated to embrace her as she cried bitterly standing with her arms crossed defensively. She hated the sympathy that he gave her but she couldn't stop crying enough to tell him off.<p>

"No it's not. I don't belong at the prison. Goddamn I don't belong anywhere. I didn't belong before the world went to shit and I don't belong now. "

"You belong with me."

"I…wish I could believe that."

"You can. I won't let you down again."

"Your track record sucks and when you have been kicked by life as many times as I have, you can't take the chance. How am I supposed to believe you? Besides I don't wanna go back there."

"Then we won't."

The woods seemed too quiet, except for her crying, as Daryl waited for her to calm down. She wiped her eyes with her sleeves, and took a step back. "What?" She couldn't tell what his emotion was, or if he even had one at all. He had a peculiar look in his eyes though, like he wanted to tell her something, but couldn't bring himself to say it to her face. She bit her bottom lip hard.

"That enough to make you believe me?" He answered. "We'll go from here. Just take off on our own."

"But…you can't mean that. You helped build that place. Those people need you."

He shrugged. "So what?" His uneasy blue eyes darted around until they came to rest on her face again. "Do you need me?"

She opened her mouth but nothing came out. No one had ever been willing to sacrifice anything for her before.

"Myka I fucked up. You're right. I acted like a damn pussy. I can't change what happened the other night but I'd rather be out here trying to make it on our own than be around people who don't see you like I do." He scratched his chin. "I'm no good at talking..."

"No you're not." She agreed. "Thats what got you into this mess to begin with. You gotta be straight with people Daryl, tell them what you think, what you feel or else..."

"Then let me try." He coughed. "Maybe I don't deserve a second chance..."

"You don't."

"Make it a little harder for me, Jesus girl..." he muttered.

"Hey, you fucked up Daryl, not me... "

"You're right." He looked down. "Myka, look, if you give me one, a chance, l'll prove that you can trust me. You can count on me. I know you couldn't before but you can now. I'm ready."

"If I do, you cant screw this up, not again."

"I won't."

"I feel like I'm being an idiot..." She sighed.

"No, you aint, I am."

"I like the sound of that," she smiled sadly. "Sorry. Bad joke..."

"No, I am an idiot, almost lost you. Should have listened to you yesterday...about Carol. Wont make that mistake again."

Myka saw the sincerity on his face and his struggle with openness. "You're serious aren't you?"

"I am. Myka?"

"Hmmm?"

"What I wanna say is... Look, want you to know…"

"Yeah?" She asked, furrowing her brow.

"Want you to know that I..."

"That you what?" She prompted.

His eyes scanned the clearing, and landed on the tree line. The afternoon sun dappled through the leaves. He turned his gaze back to her.

She startled him as she lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her lips firmly on his. Her kisses were hungry, and at first he kissed backed like a guy who just got attacked by a tear-stained woman in the middle of the woods. But then he was kissing her just as hungrily, placing his hands on the sides of her head as he pulled her face closer. Her mouth opened and his tongue was there instantly, making her moan at the pure pleasure of it, diminishing the pain of her bruises.  
>She didn't remember moving, but suddenly her back hit a tree. She felt the hardness of his body against hers, and wrapped her arms around his waist to pull him closer. The smell of wood and smoke clung to him and she pushed herself against him in an almost frantic declaration of what he had hoped for; she wanted him.<p>

"This mean you believe me?" He asked catching his breath.

"I'm thinking about it..." she murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

_Reminder: rated M. Yeah my smutmance follows..._

.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

Myka wait..." Daryl protested as she pulled him down to the ground with her, her lips only half an inch away from his. "This what you want?"

She kissed him again, reaching between them to unzip her hoody and shrug it off. "Please," she said between kisses, "please keep up the whole quiet, hot guy thing and shut the hell up." She planted her lips on his again and felt him smile against them.

"Quiet, hot guy?" he chuckled as he finally gave in and sat down against the base of the tree his hands sliding up the back of her shirt as she lowered herself on top of him. He slid hand up to where her bra strap should have been, and he groaned a little as his hand glided over only smooth skin. _Shit, what the hell am I doing?_

She pulled back. "Am I giving in too easily? Do you think I'm a pushover?" She asked, as if reading his mind.

"I d-don't know. Am I?

Myka stared hard into his eyes. She knew he'd meant everything he'd said. It wasn't like she was just some girl. They'd been getting closer for months and she knew there was something between them. If this was a mistake, and didn't work out down the line, she knew it would be because of them, not Carol.

She shook her head. "No way. You a pushover? You are so damn hard to get through to..."

He silenced her with a hard kiss. "I wanna...this...with you..." He relented, struggling to find words and feeling awkward thinking he needed them.

"Then..." She gazed down at him as she took her tank top off, and his eyes left hers to stare at her breasts. He smoothed his hands slowly up her thighs and rested them on her hips.

"You said months," she breathed as he moved his hands from her hips, up her sides, "months, you woke up in the middle of the night, thinking of me?""

She looked down, seeing conviction clear on his face. "Yeah. You fucked with my head..."

He shrugged off his vest and unbuttoned his shirt. As Myka pushed the flannel off he grabbed her hips again and the muscles of his chest flexed slightly when he pulled her towards him. Her hands fell on his body, sliding up his stomach, over his chest, and through the sparse hairs there. She lay down on him so they were bare skin on bare skin and draped her arms around his neck. He held her, just reveling in the touch of their flesh together for the first time. He kissed her hair, while she moved her hands over his bare abdomen.

"I love that you have no idea how sexy you are," she said and laid a kiss upon his chest. "I love our skin together."

She nestled her breasts against him, and he felt her hardened nipples pressing into his pecs. Her words embarrassed and stimulated him simultaneously. He felt his face grow hot while the tightening in his groin increased.

"Feel your heart? I feel it beating against me." He rasped.

Myka nodded. "I feel yours too."

He placed light kisses along her collar bones as his hands slid up her ribs to the sides of her breasts. He waited for her to stop him, but she didn't. She straightened up and leaned her head back as he ran his thumbs over her nipples, and let out a small moan. Then she felt his mouth on one nipple and her body jerked in response. She placed her hand on the back of his head to push it closer. He looked up at her and began rolling the other nipple between his fingers, and she jerked again, her sharp intake of breath echoing slightly. It had been a long time since Daryl had been with a woman and he wasn't sure he'd ever been sober when he was. He let his body and her reactions lead him. He sure as hell knew what to do he just needed to let himself.

When she felt his teeth scrape lightly against her collarbone she couldn't help but to start to grind on the hardness she felt growing below her. The material of her jeans created some friction, and she moved her hips forwards and then back, side to side, harder and harder against him. Daryl had moved his mouth to the other nipple and started sucking, making her body jerk again. He groaned when she reacted and the sound made her grind against him even harder. "This...this okay?' he breathed.

"Yeah, god yeah. You...feel so good"

Finally she pushed away from him, laying down on her back between his legs. She had her feet on either side of his thighs, and thrust her hips up in the air in order to slide her jeans over them and moved her legs towards Daryl so he could help. He chewed his lip as he pulled them and her thong towards him, tossing them to the side as he reached down to undo the fly of his jeans. The anticipation was making him harder. He laid back and lifted his hips a little to shimmy out of his cargoes, his cock springing free from it's bounds. She needed him, didn't even give him a chance to get his pants off completely. She quickly crawled on top of him. It was gonna happen. She reached between her legs and placed her hand on him to help guide him in. She stroked him slowly at first, savoring his length. She felt herself get wetter at the thought of lowering herself onto him. He had his hands on both sides of her face again. "Please," he begged, lightly thrusting upwards into her stroking hand. "Its been... a long time..."

She nodded and whispered, "for me too..." and rubbed his tip against her opening and he closed his eyes for a moment, but quickly opened them again. She let go of him, placed a hand on each of his shoulders, and slowly started to ease herself down, her mouth open, feeling how much he was stretching her. Small gasps escaped her mouth as she took him in, inch by inch, slowly sliding up and down His eyes never left her face as he placed his hands on her hips, guiding her.

Finally he was completely inside and she felt herself tighten and loosen around him. "Oh, god," she whispered, and watched his face change to astonishment as she tightened around him. His friction against her clit and the angle of his cock made her jerk over and over again as an orgasm swept her almost immediately. "Told you," she gasped. "Its been a while..." She threw her head back as the last spasm coursed through her then looked back down at his awestruck face. She nodded as she started moving her hips against him, and his hands gripped them bruisingly. She moved in circles, her hands massaging her breasts, then stroking leaned forward again, placing her hands on either side of his head as she raised and lowered her ass taking him in long, deep strokes.

She sat back and this time he came up with her. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her breasts as she put her hands on his shoulders and slowly moved up and down. His fingers were digging into her flesh and she knew he was going to come soon. Feeling his skin against hers, his cock deep inside her, his mouth on her breasts, and his arms wrapped around her all came together to give her the most powerful orgasm she'd ever had. "I'm coming..." she warned in a whisper. "Again..." she almost giggled. He lifted his head and pressed his lips against hers. Their mouths were opened against each others as his hands went to her ass and he pulled her harder against him.

She came again, her core tightening around him as he released. He had covered her mouth with his again while she moaned softly into it, convulsing against him. He was shaking too, and she could feel his cock pulsing inside. She pulled her mouth away from his and buried her head in his neck, lightly nosing and licking it. She was holding him tightly against her and their bodies shook together. Soon the shaking stopped, and the cold started to creep its way in. Daryl felt calm and a sense that the woods had somehow been witness to this consummation. It made him feel that this was right; she felt right in a way he'd never known before. He wanted to tell her but how?

"You..." He cursed himself for not having the words.

"I know." Her eyes were soft. "That was... Daryl that was amazing. Do you even know how good you are?"

He looked away.

"I'm so sorry," She said softly. "I didn't mean to offend you before when I said those things... I just…"

He pressed his fingers against her mouth and shook his head slightly.

"It's ok,"

"Really?"

"And I don't take no offense."

"You don't?"

"I don't. Its good, you speaking your mind. Not everybody does."

They heard a shuffling in the bushes a little far off from where they were. He started throwing her clothes at her, and she threw his at him. As long as they laid flat, no one would be able to see them, so they got dressed on their backs as quickly as they could. Daryl crouched and raised his bow, ready.

Two filthy, shredded corpses proceeded in a stumbling march toward them. Daryl shot the first and Myka took down the second with her knife as he retrieved the bolt.

"C'mon, more where they come from I bet."

"Daryl wait. You can't come with me."

"Fuck it Myka! You better quit that. Telling me what I can't do." _After what we just did? She's telling me to fuck off..._

"It's not right. Your brother is back at the prison. Your life is back at that prison. We got a little carried away, but it doesn't mean...you should give all that up for a girl you've only known for a few months. No matter how good we seem to fit."

"Don't feel like only months. Feels like I've known you longer." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Time now is different. Things mean more. What we do means more. Time speeds up I guess. Sounds crazy huh?"

"No, it doesn't. " She answered,eyes focused on him. "We don't know how much time we are gonna have. Things can seem unreal...but you feel real."

"Will you stop changing your damn mind." Daryl decided he needed to take charge. "I'm coming. Not talking about this no more. Lets go."

"Wait. The reason I left in the first place wasn't just Carol and the rest of them. I was afraid."

"Afraid of what? Afraid of me?"

"Yes, I mean no. I mean... afraid of how you make me feel."

He looked at her with confusion. "Don't I make you feel good?" He mumbled suddenly self conscious about how he had performed.

"Yeah," she reached out and placed her hand over his, "really good. Especially today...just now..." she blushed. "But there's this deeper feeling. This need to be near you, to smell you, to hold you, to just be with you. And it scares me because I've been independent all my life and then I met you, and everything changed. I went from content with myself and me alone, to wanting you... needing you." She took a deep breath, trying to ease her emotions. "I thought if I left it would just go away. But it's getting worse. Fuck it."

All her bottled emotions bubbled to the surface. It was at that moment that she truly realized how much she'd miss him if they separated. "I didn't know if you'd feel the same way. So, to save myself the pain, I left."

She took her hand away and looked down. The unbelievable urge to bare her soul to him took over. "It's pretty much been that way all my life. Not being wanted. My parents left me. You know my story...I never even had a real boyfriend; relationships meant giving up my independence and trusting somebody. I couldn't. But I was okay with that because I've always only had myself, I was used to it. Then you suddenly showed up in my life. I feel sick without you. Crazy even. Now its just unsettling to be alone." She took deep breaths, to try to regain her composure.

"Damnit Myka...I had the same life as you, I mean, the being on my own part. But ever since I met you, I feel like I never needed someone more than I need you. I never felt this way about a person. Your smell can get me drunk. I mean it. When you were gone this morning I felt like I was going crazy. I needed to see you, talk to you, I felt fucking insane. You do that to me, and I don't know how, but you do. You're not running away again. I want us to try this...whatever this is. And I don't want you to think just because you need me back, means you won't be independent. You'll still have it. Trust me?" He finished with a frown, his jaw set.

Maybe letting herself stand beside someone like Daryl, wouldn't be bad. As a matter of fact, it would be pretty good. "I trust you."

"Then c'mon, let's go."

"No. I'll come back with you. To the prison ."

"You said…" He scratched his chin. "You sure?"

"Besides, maybe I should talk to Carol. Reason with her. If you see something in her worth making her a friend, I can try."

"You think?"

"For you, I'll try. Now that we know where we stand with each other and promise to be honest about it with her then, yeah, I think. We are all adults here, it's not like we're in fucking junior high."

He was about to say something when the brush started to shake and rustle."Another one?" Daryl sighed and raised his bow ready for a Walker, but a dog burst through the low branches of a thistle bush and stopped short when he saw the two humans. His ears went back and his tail lowered as he his eyes went from Daryl to Myka, but he didn't make a move to either attack or run away.

"Nothing but a damn dog." Daryl commented.

"He's scared ..." Myka whispered. "Hey baby..its okay..." her voice took on a comforting tone and the dog's ears immediately moved forward a bit.

"Are you okay?" She asked the dog, then turned to Daryl. "He's skinny. Poor thing. She rummaged in her pack for some jerky. She crouched and held out the food, turning her body to the side and moving her eyes down to appear as non threatening as possible. The dog approached tentatively then took the offering from her hand.

"You like that?"

Daryl handed her a bottle of water. "He's probably thirsty."

Myka clucked and the dog came forward sniffing her hand again. She petted under his chin and his tail began wagging enthusiastically. She stroked the side of his body sure to avoid his head, a sign of politeness to a dog. He sniffed Daryl's legs and pushed against his knees wanting to be petted. Daryl obliged and Myka saw his smile so genuine as he bent down to scratch behind the dog's ears.

She smiled up at him. "Think you made a friend."

Daryl grunted a little. "Just a mutt, huh?"

"He likes you."

He took the water bottle and poured some into his cupped palm and the dog lapped it up. "Hey boy, what happened to you huh? You on your own?"

The black and tan shepherd hound mix whined a little and tilted his head. He stood at Daryl's knees and easily nuzzled his snout into Daryl's hand.

"Not no more. He's coming with us.'

Myka nodded remembering how often she and Daryl talked about dogs.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... .

"Um..Charlie."

"Brando.'

"Elvis."

"Clyde."

Daryl and Myka traded name suggestions as they walked through the woods the dog trotting beside them. He'd occasionally run further up the path as if scouting on point then run back to the two as they marveled at the twist of fate that brought a dog to them.

The dog was a nice distraction but as they drew closer to the prison, Myka began to feel uneasy. The people here didn't like her and she knew it would be a battle to keep her cool and try to come to terms with being part of the group, if they'd even accept her. It was her idea to come back after all despite how hurt she'd been.

"Hey you okay? You got so quiet.'

"Yeah it's just that ... they make me feel..."

"Look if they give you shit we're out of there. Merle and me and you. Got it?"

"Yeah. And Clyde too right?"

The dog bounded back and jumped up on Myka trying to lick her face.

"Clyde, huh? Think he likes that." Daryl observed loving her smile and the sound of her laughter as the dog continued to jump on her. "Yeah Clyde's coming too.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Before reaching the prison, they were still in the wooded perimeter, when Clyde stopped and began a low growl, tensing. Myka peeked over Daryl's shoulder and saw Merle emerging from the woods. He had the biggest smile she'd ever seen, and it was completely contagious.

"Hey boy, its alright. " Daryl said. The dog picked up on Daryl's familiarity with Merle, immediately calmed down and began wagging his tail.

Merle pointed at Myka and said, "See you bagged your prey."

Daryl shook his head and a blush crept up his neck. "Fuck you doing out here Merle?"

"Hunting. like you."

"You following me?"

"Nah, I gotta get away from that place for a while. Them people getting in my last nerve. Who's this?" He asked as Clyde raced circles around him. "Got some hound in there, I can see it."

"He found us so we brought him back."

"Yeah 'bout that…" He cleared his throat and focused on Daryl. "Y'all might not want to head back in there."

"Why not?"

"Well lets just say Carol threatened to kill your little sweetheart here Daryl."

"What? That aint her…she…I don't believe it. What are you playing at Merle?"

"Nothing, she told me ...believe her exact words were, If Daryl brings that girl back here, I'm gonna slit her throat while she's sleeping."

"She said that?" Myka asked, her anger returning. "Bitch! I'm not scared of her."

Merle chuckled and Daryl grabbed her arm. "Hey its alright. I'll handle it. Don't sound like her."

Myka nodded, feeling the protective shift in Daryl. _We're all adults here right? _She thought again.

"'Sides sugar, I bet you could take the old lady down any day if it was a fair fight. She ambushed you the other night. " Merle complimented her.

"Well nobody's gonna be fighting." Daryl grimaced. "Jesus Merle..."

"What? Just saying I like your gal here that's all. And its nice to see you aint confused no more. " Merle said and slapped Daryl on the shoulder.

.. ... ... ... ... .. ... ... .. ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... .

Carol hummed to herself as she folded Daryl's clothes. She moved around his cell, neatening things, arranging, straightening, touching his few possessions, feeling close to him. Daryl was hers. He'd all but said he loved her giving her that flower and being there after Sophia died. The time she'd been lost in the tombs after TDog had died and Daryl searched for her never giving up, carrying her back to the cell block. Daryl was a man of few words, but his chivalrous actions told Carol all she needed to know. He was in love with her. She lay down on his bunk and let her thoughts run.

_It's you and only you who does this to me, Daryl. I've tried thinking about others, and I always come back to the same broken tape, playing in my head endlessly. We can't deny the physical pull between us; We are so much more to each other, your desire for me is undeniable. You make me feel human there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about being with you. Don't deny you never knew how much you mean to me. __I am aware of how much you want me. We are more than friends. I thought about the rough times you've had, and how I make you happy too. _You make me feel like a woman who matters. You are the one to show me what intimacy is, that day you touched my cheek.___ I dream of having a life with you and I know you do with me. I think often about the pleasure I could give you by being inside me. I think about how this act is like every other act that friends do for each other. Sometimes I imagine long talks with you, and I learn things about you that you never would have shared with me before. You tell me all these things while our naked bodies embrace..._

Carol's thoughts were interrupted by a commotion downstairs and the main door to the cell block shut noisily. Daryl must be back. Her Daryl had returned to her.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"So you're back?" Rick looked Myka up and down.

"Look Rick, I don't want trouble."

"None of us do Myka."

"No we certainly don't." Carol walked up behind Rick. "I don't feel comfortable with her living here, Merle either."

Daryl put his hand on Myka's shoulder not unaware of Carol's death glare at his action. "There's no reason we can't all live here together. You need to give Myka break. She didn't start nothing the other night Carol. I should have said something before."

"Rick, don't you care about the safety and well-being of the group?" Carol shook her head. "Having Myka and Merle here is unsafe and a drain on our resources. Winter is coming and we need to conserve. I bet if we took a vote you'd see I'm not alone in my opinion." She suddenly noticed the dog. "And that? Whats that? A flea infested disease carrying animal has no place here. Eating food right out of our mouths and its dangerous to have a strange dog around Judith."

"A vote? Fuck that." Daryl retorted. He felt Myka shift and seem to fold in on herself. He knew she was about to tell them all to fuck off and that she'd leave, so he answered for her. "They go, I go." He stated it simply and with conviction, squeezing her shoulder now.

"And I'd just like to remind ya'll of who does most the hunting round here. You wanna talk about fair distribution of resources..." Merle threw in.

"Daryl, that's not what anyone is saying." Rick added ignoring Merle. "No one wants you to go."

"Aint changing my mind."

"Daryl no, you don't mean that." Carol scolded him.

"Know what, you just stop telling me what I mean. Hell you know?"

She turned to Myka. "You, you'll ruin us." Carol motioned to the group. "She will, you all know I'm right. She has something against me...who knows she may just try to kill me in my sleep."

"What? Me? You're the one who said... you know what, don't judge me. Any of you." Myka shot back. "You can't handle half of what I've dealt with. Theres a reason I do the things I do. There is a reason I am who I am. Now I'm sure it's the same for all of us. Judging each other is stupid, it's a waste of time. I don't want trouble. I've never done anything malicious to anyone here. Maybe at times I've felt like an outsider, recently anyway. I know I'm still new here compared to the rest of you, but I'm willing to work at this. If you're really Daryl's friends I'd think you'd want to try too. Carol aren't you his friend?"

Carol bristled at the word friend, but as she looked at the faces of the other group members she realized this was not the way to get rid of Myka. She'd made too much of a scene. The last thing she'd wanted to do was drum up sympathy for the little slut. No, she'd deal with Myka quietly but once and for all. Carol switched gears knowing she could bide her time and find a permanent solution.

"I'm not unreasonable, you all know me. So, instead of either leaving the prison myself or getting into petty arguments with Myka, I think its best if she and I avoid each other as much as possible. It's a large place. Since I have a lot of respect and admiration for Rick and Daryl I am willing to try." She looked around seeing the relief in the postures around the room. Her tight sallow face looked even more hollow as she turned to Myka. "But you know dear, if you are feeling like an outsider that is something you should talk about with Rick, hmm?"

Myka rolled her eyes and crouched to nuzzle her face into Clyde's side. The dog glared at Carol and shifted his body in front of Myka protectively.

"And keep that mangy beast away from the baby." Carol warned turning on her heel.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey all you guys faving and following, I want to say an extra special thank you for enjoying this story and understanding what I'm going for here. I got a **vicious** anonymous review for Shallow that attacked my writing abilities, portrayal of the characters and called me psychotic. Yes they were only anonymous words but they hurt. What comforted me was looking at all the good reviews you've left and the number of followers Shallow has. This is my second most popular story because of YOU GUYS and I appreciate every one of you for being here and daring to like something a little different. It's all for fun and entertainment in the end, right? Much love to all of you!__  
><em>

_xx_

_**To the Guest reviewer that "wonders often how I call myself a writer" : in the very** off-chance** you are reading this I want you to know you inspired an extra chapter. This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I'll need a fifth part to finish because of my feelings after reading your insults. More scenes came to mind. Ironically, your review confirmed my views and reinforced why I wrote this dang story in the first place. All the original feelings that motivated me to write it got stirred up again.***_

_Oh yeah, More M content ahead..._

_... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ._

Carol was uncharacteristically absent from the dinner table that night. Apparently she wasn't feeling well. The meal was pleasant and Myka felt a bit more comfortable than usual. Daryl sat beside her and nudged her to join the conversation every so often. The discussion concerned finding any stores or houses that they hadn't made runs to yet. The search for supplies would take them further away from the prison. Daryl and Rick had plans to go on an overnight scouting mission at the end of the week. She listened, but didn't hear them talk. She kept pushing her hair over her face; she was still self-conscious about her black eye and bruised cheek. Even after three days it was still noticeable. It constantly reminded her that coming back here hadn't been easy. Part of her felt like a teenager and knew well the rage of loud and scary girls, the games of shallow people and part of her still wanted to leave, but she made herself stay. She was tougher than that. She remembered she'd lived through some hellish foster homes and had done a stint in a homeless shelter mixing with the crackheads and crazies. She could do this. She'd made a choice and given her word to Daryl. She was not a weak, running woman.

"So what do you say Myka?"

"Huh?" She looked up when she heard Maggie mention her name.

"About helping me with the dishes tonight? Since Carol's sick. Unless you have watch or something?"

"Um sure I can do that." Myka was surprised and little self-conscious. None of the women had ever asked her to join them or help with the chores. She stood and began clearing the table with Maggie. She gave her a smile and Maggie returned the gesture.

"Thanks Maggie."

"For what, piling work on you?" She answered with a good natured laugh. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she thought.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

"Missed you at supper tonight. You okay?" Daryl leaned against the open door of Carol's cell.

"I'm fine. Just needed some time to myself."

"I get that."

"I'm not hiding away if that's what you think."

"Didnt."

"We haven't talked Daryl, really talked."

"I know," he sighed. "Look Carol, I...I care about you. We've been through a lot, we're friends."

"Friends? That's all you believe we are?" Carol's mouth hung open. They had started as friends but desire had blossomed. Why wasn't he admitting it?

"Yeah. I think you got the wrong idea. I didn't mean for you to."

"I'm better for you than Myka is. I'm a better woman and I'm more capable. I'm willing to do what has to be done. She is a weak insecure child. She'll screw you over."

Carol was a survivor. She had survived the abuse of her husband, depression, and the loss of her child. She was no longer a victim and she'd be damned if anyone treated her like one or tried to take anything away from her. Only the strongest survived and she had focused on developing her strength and changing her mindset to that of a warrior. She was a tough and capable woman of action. She was as tough as any man. She was a perfect partner for Daryl. His match. She was an inspiration, someone to be admired. Myka? Who was she? Some girl who showed up needing refuge? Carol had never bothered to learn Myka's story about surviving the attack on her former group by a band of savage men or how she'd made it alone for months in the woods before she stumbled upon Glenn on a run.

"Carol you're mad. I get that but I'd never hurt you on purpose you know that. Fact is Myka and me...we're together. That's how it is."

"You are hurting me Daryl. She is making you do this I know she is. After she's done toying with you she will leave you. Again."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Nobody makes me do a damn thing I don't want to do, " he began to raise his voice. "Myka's with me and I'm with her."

Carol shook her head. "For now maybe but mark my words, she'll let you down."

"Man, Carol I thought maybe you could be happy for me. Something good is happening in my life."

"I'm a good piece of your life. Don't you see? She'll leave just like everybody else leaves you."

"You don't even know her Carol. She's been thorough shit too. She's fought to make it, you should get to know her."

"I know enough. I know she's only using you. It'll be like your mother, your brother all over again. I'm the only one who never let you down. I'll never leave you Daryl. I am the only one."

The mention of his mother knocked the wind out of him like a sucker punch. Carol knew how hard it had been for him to open up and talk about his mother. Now she was using his emotions again him.

"I gotta get out of here before I say something I don't want to say," he clenched his jaw and turned away. "Something we'll both regret. "

Carol dropped her head in her hands and listened to the echo of his boots stomping away down the down the hall. He spotted Myka as she reached her cell. She smiled and began speaking.

"Clyde and Carl are playing it's the cutest thing-"

Before she could finish, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the cell closing the blanket covered door and shoved her into the wall with a hungry kiss.

"Whats wrong? You're mad-" She murmured between his assaults on her lips.

"M' fine...fine now."

He grabbed her ass and she responded by wrapping her legs around his waist. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to..." she managed to say as he hoisted her up.

He carried her to the bunk. He pulled back. "I do. I want you. Bad." As he laid her down he asked, "You aint going anywhere right? This is-"

"This is real Daryl, I'm not leaving you. I'm in. all in."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .

"Faster please."

It's just what Daryl needed to hear, and pretty soon their bodies were moving together in a perfect rhythm.  
>Straightening his arms, he looked down at her. His eyes fastened on her heaving breasts which were now covered with a light sheen of sweat. Her thighs were pressed against his and her fingers were digging into his shoulders. Even as Myka's hips were moving in perfect rhythm with his and as good as it felt, he couldn't help thinking about what it would feel like to do it in other positions. He had waited so long for this and Myka made him feel comfortable so he wanted to enjoy it in every way he could.<p>

"Can we move?" He rasped in her ear.

"M..move?"

"Yeah. Can we, you know?" He grunted, "try a different way?"

Myka frowned. For a moment she looked upset and he thought he'd somehow screwed up, but she quickly smiled and said, "Anything you want Daryl. But, I want to finish like this, okay?"

"Sure," he lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth, causing her to moan and asked, "Can we...uh...?"

"I know what you want." She winked. "Sit up."

He forced himself to slide from inside her and sat back on his knees, watching as Myka drew her legs up and rolled over onto her hands and knees.

"Goddamn," he breathed as he took in the sight of Myka from behind.

Her firm ass looked even better pushed up in the air with her slickness waiting between soft thighs. Kneeling behind her, he grabbed her hips and placed his cock on the cheek of her ass.

Myka tossed her head, sending her long black hair across the smooth skin of her back. "You going to take me or just look at me?"

_Take her._ The way she said that caused him to push his cock down between her legs and enter her with one long thrust.

"Oh fuck!" Myka cried out. "Damn, that's deep!"

"Sorry." Daryl began to pull out but she surprised him.

"I didn't say stop. Just said you were deep. Now go ahead and give it to me."

Holding her hips, he started fucking her with long, hard strokes. Each one ended with her releasing a soft grunt and Daryl moaning at how good she felt.

This was even better than the first time they'd fucked. Not just sex, but with a girl who sure as hell wasn't shy about it and who was not only damn sexy, but one he trusted. Myka sounded as if she were enjoying it as well. That opinion was driven home when she started rocking back and forth, shoving her ass back into his driving cock.

"Oh, fuck, this feels good..." Myka sighed and couldn't suppress a giggle. After a minute she said, "Stop."

"I ... am I doing something wrong?"

"No, but I want my favorite. Lay on your back."

Daryl withdrew and fell back on the mattress. Mika swung her leg over his hips and straddled him. Reaching back, she guided him to her pussy and let her weight go. They both moaned as she sank down on him and started rocking her hips back and forth.

She braced her hands on his chest and leaned over, sliding her tits back and forth, her nipples grazing his lips. Moving faster and harder, she slammed herself up and down, and it was his turn to start making whimpering sounds while she rode him. He was breathing hard and his legs were trembling beneath her as she moved even faster.

"Shit," he moaned, "Myka, I..."

"Not yet," she gasped, immediately slowing down.

He groaned in frustration as the feeling he was going to come faded, but Myka made up for it. Rocking her hips gently, she sat straight up and lifted her arms over her head, making a show of slowly and sensually riding him.

"Look at you," he whispered, staring at her gorgeous tits and shapely body as she teased herself across his cock. "Jesus, you look..."

"Glad you think so," she whispered as she cupped her tits and stroked her nipples.

He put his hands on her hips and began to push and pull, guiding her. In this position, she was teasing, but he didn't mind. The longer this lasted the better. Myka was sweating, her face was flushed and her nipples looked as hard as he felt.

She smiled down at him. "How about we go back to where we started?"

She rolled off him and no sooner was she on her back, than he was back between her legs and sinking slowly into her.

"Come down here," she ordered gently as he slowly moved inside her.

He slid his arms under hers so their bodies were pressed together. As her lips found his, Myka wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into her warm embrace. He began moving a little faster but was still taking his time, finding that he was enjoying it as much as he had going harder when she was on her knees.

"Daryl, you feel so good. Please don't go faster. Just keep it like this."

Looking down at her, he smiled at the sight of her lips slightly parted and her face flushed with passion. Her long hair was fanned across the pillow and her eyes were closed as they made love in the soft glow of the candles.

_Making love._ He wasn't sure if that's what they were doing when they started, but right now there was no doubt that this was more than just fucking. They were making love.

She opened her eyes and stared up at him, her lips curling into a soft smile.

"Myka, you're so...you...you're beautiful."

"You, you're not just saying that because we're—"

"No, I mean it." He paused and moaned as he felt his body tensing. "You just are."

"I..." Her legs tightened around him and her hips moved faster. "Please don't stop. Please keep going...I want to come with you."

Her words sent a thrill though him. Even as he felt his own orgasm building, he fought to hold on. He was using long, slow strokes, and felt Myka's back arch and her hips push into him. She was whimpering in his ear and her thighs were trembling against his sides. He was shaking as well with the effort to hold back as long as possible.

She looked up into Daryl's face, and watched as his breathing became faster. Their hips collided one more time, and sent her over the edge with him following. She moaned as Daryl put his mouth on hers muffling both their cries of pleasure.

After, she closed her eyes and rested her cheek on Daryl's chest, content. She wasn't lonely, and felt amazing to belong with someone. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Welcome..I guess."

"I meant thanks for today, standing up for me, telling Carol about us."

He nodded and stroked her hair. When Daryl's heart rate returned to normal and he felt Myka's head heavier on his chest he figured she was asleep so he gingerly lifted her head and placed it on the pillow. He dressed silently. As he made his way to the door her voice stopped him.

"Where are you going?" She asked sleepily.

"Back to my cell."

"Why? Something wrong?" She sat up. "Did I do something?

"Nah, I just figured you'd want me to."

"Why?"

"I know you want to stay independent. Figured you want space..."

"Oh." She looked down. "Do you...want space?"

"I...thought it's what you wanted."

She pushed her hair off her face and rubbed sleep from her eyes. He thought she looked disappointed.

"Not what I asked you Daryl."

"No." He said almost too quietly for her to hear. "I don't."

"Then come back to bed."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She smiled slightly. "Idiot."

He laughed quietly and sprawled back down beside her.

"You feel good close to me," she murmured.

"Never said that to nobody before. Bout being beautiful. You didn't laugh."

"Of course I didn't, you said I'm... no one ever did."

"Cant believe that."

"Its true. Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"I love," she paused, "...that you said it."

He closed his eyes and smiled. He couldn't ever remember being this relaxed. He lightly ran his fingers along Myka's shoulder and she cooed softly, nuzzling her face into his neck. He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head, letting his head fall back on the pillow, his mind drifting.

He opened his eyes. A couple of the candles had burned out. He pulled in a deep breath of her sweet scent and let himself indulge in the sensation of her warm, soft body next to his. She had draped her leg across his thigh and the heat of her pussy pressed into him. Her breasts were pushing against his side and she was breathing deeply into his neck.

He lay there amazed at how good this felt. Actually sleeping with someone was something that had never crossed his mind. It had crossed hers though. And he liked that. He liked this.

... ... ... ...

After a week things settled into a routine. Myka felt more comfortable pitching in and interacting. Tensions had lowered. Still, she took work like watch duty or manning the gate that allowed her to stay on her own. She spent her free time with Daryl and Merle for the most part. Merle turned out to be an interesting character and an unexpected ally. She liked the man despite what she'd heard about him from the other members of the group. He had bad blood with Rick and Glenn, but he was Daryl's brother and Myka could sense the bond and the care there. She suspected part of the reason he even gave her a chance was for Daryl's sake. She and Daryl spent their nights in her cell without question. Falling asleep together after fucking, talking or just enjoying the sound of each others breathing with Clyde keeping watch on his bed of blankets by the door was best home Myka had ever had. They hadn't officially moved in together in one cell, wanting to keep their independence, but every night together felt secure. The unease of feeling she may have forgiven Daryl too easily still cropped up, but when she asked him countless times if they were moving too fast he'd say maybe, but that they were making up for lost time.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .

_It was a stunning revelation I had while I was fantasizing about you one night back at the farm. I'll never forget it. _Carol's mind wandered as she leaned against the fence and watched Daryl as he worked on his motorcycle across the yard. _Your attention turned to your crossbow so I kept fantasizing about you. You turned it over and I imagined you turned me around to face you. I watched you focusing on your weapon, oblivious of my overwhelming desire for you. _In my fantasy, you inched closer, but you didn't kiss me yet. I wrapped my hands around you and you wrapped yours around my neck. You pulled me gently in and kissed me. The kiss sealed it completely. You wanted to know me as a woman, and I wanted to let you. _You had no idea that in my head, you were about to make me come. You had no idea that you were the only one that could do it. I still believe that. __You did make me come, like you always make me come. You lifted me onto the counter after you did, and you began to fuck me. Like the cherry on top, this part was the best. It was nothing short of bliss. It was not only happiness for me, but you as well. You always fuck me like it's the first time you've been with me. This fantasy is more than just a wish..._

_"_That okay Carol?" Rick asked.

"What?" She answered, snapped out of her reverie. She reluctantly pulled her eyes away from Daryl. She pretended the sun had been obstructing her vision. "What?"

"The busted water pump. I'm gonna have Tyreese take care of it but not for a few days. Too many herds around to take chances outside the gates. We got enough water stored for a few days. No one goes out there. Understand?"

"Of course," she agreed. After Rick headed back inside she walked down to the front gate. _Another man afraid to do what needs to be done. _

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .

Carl and Myka kept watch at the front gate in silence for the first half hour of their shift. A conversation eventually started when Carl said, "I like having Clyde around. My mom didn't let me have a dog. Always wanted one."

"I'm glad. You are so good playing with him. I love dogs," Myka replied. "I had one before all this walker shit started. Oh I shouldn't swear in front of you huh?"

"You can. I swear all the time."

"You do? Your dad doesn't care?"

"Shit no."

They smiled, knowing better.

"Daryl is happier you know. Since you've been here."

She looked down at him. "Really? How can you tell?"

"He's talking more. He told me a joke the other day and he let me try his bow."

She smiled a little.

Carl was halfway through all the reasons Daryl was more pleasant to be around lately when movement beyond the fence caught his eye. Carol was on the wooden platform above the water pump. "My dad said nobody's supposed to be outside."

"Maybe she asked him?" Myka suggested.

"No he was serious he told me to make sure too. Not to let anyone out." Carl unlocked the gate and jogged over to Carol. "You shouldn't be out, my dad said..."

As Carol lifted her head and straightened from her crouched position on the planks Myka saw a small group of corpses emerging from the treeline. Before she could shout, one walker lurched forward surprisingly quickly and was about to grab Carl. The rotting man's jaw flapped eerily in the wind, dislocated by the look of it, a large deep cut ran down his entire left arm, his clothes were ripped to shreds and were only hanging on by the barest of threads, and he was a waxy pale whitish-green color streaked with aged, crusty dried blood.

All emotion drained from Myka; the warm feelings she'd been entertaining in the pit of her stomach moments ago dissipated quicker than steam from a kettle and she was left shaking and white.

"Carl!" She called out. "Carol! Get him out of there!"

The creature closed in far too quickly for her liking and time seemed to slow, it was barely six feet from Carl now and she found it almost impossible to believe he and Carol couldn't have noticed it. She took off, sprinting towards them. Suddenly three more walkers set upon Carol and Carl. Now aware of his predicament the boy pulled out his revolver. The kickback slammed the pistol up high into the air as the bullet soared across the short space between himself and the Walker. Myka watched as it passed Carol, missing her head by scant inches, to explode fiercely into the skull of the reanimated corpse.

"Go Carol, run!" He shouted, his voice cracking with stress. "I'll cover you!"

Myka's mind and body froze at the crack of the bullet, torn between running and fighting, she was a rabbit caught in the spotlight. At that moment a Walker crashed through the bushes and onto her, knocking her to the ground. She grunted as the dirt rose to meet her then immediately freed her knife to impale the thrashing oddity as it gnashed at her face. She crawled out from under the decomposing body just in time to down another as it neared her.

She hastily counted eight more in front of her and removed her gun from her holster. She took down the fastest ones first, leaving the less agile ones staggering towards her slowly. Bashing the head of one with the butt of her gun, she sent her foot flying into the neck of another, sending it sprawling onto the muddy ground with a sick crunch. After taking out the last two in front of her, she looked to her left to find Carl, but couldn't. Carol had made it back inside the fence but Carl wasn't with her.

A pang of fear shot through her stomach as she ran towards a smaller group of the living dead. She stopped to shoot four rounds into the heads of oncoming walkers, then again began searching for Rick's son. "Carl!" She screamed frantically as she felt the fear rise in her throat. "Carl, where are you?"

She mowed down a few off to her left before she spotted him on the ground kicking frantically at a shredded menace. He was out of bullets. Horrified, she used all her strength to plunge her knife into its skull and pull it off of Carl. She checked around her to make sure the threat was over and collapsed on the ground next to the boy.

He looked up, eyes full of fear and shame "Myka thanks I..."

"Don't thank me, it's what we do. Hey where's Carol? Is she okay?"

Carl pointed at her now at the head of the path almost at the door to the cell block. Myka shook her head with disbelief. _At least she closed the gate, _she thought sarcastically.

"Hey Myka?" Carl interrupted her thoughts. "Can you not tell my dad about this? He'll be pissed at me for going outside."

"Why? You were trying to help Carol."

"But I got into more of a mess, didn't I? Please, don't tell him."

"Hey you saved Carol's ass. Carl you were fucking brave today you didn't do anything wrong. He might want to know..."

Carl shook his head. "My dad expects a lot of me. Please."

She nodded. "If you don't want me too I won't. It's between us. But you might be surprised at how he reacts if you ever decide to tell him."

Carl shrugged. "Maybe. Hey can you not tell Daryl either?"

Myka nodded, though that would be more difficult. She wanted to confide in Daryl because Carol's actions had freaked her out. It was as if the woman had wanted Carl to be hurt or killed Myka too so it would look as if it was Myka's fault. Unless Carol had just panicked? But she had promised Carl. She remembered being a kid and knew how much her confidence meant to him.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. .

The next morning Myka started to believe Carol had just panicked the day before during the walker attack. She couldn't believe that as a mom she'd put any child at risk or not do all she could to save him. If it had been my Myka alone maybe her actions could be seen as nefarious but she gave Carol the benefit of the doubt.

So..." Myka looked past Daryl at the sun rising over the Eastern fence "Come back okay?"

He was bent over under the hood of a black Dodge Charger checking the engine. He and Rick were taking the vehicle to search for supplies.

Daryl snorted."That's always the plan." He stood up and wiped engine grease from his hands with the rag he kept in his back pocket. He squinted down at her. "Don't need to remind me."

"I know, but I...never had anybody to wait for."

"I never had nobody to come back to."

"Yeah you did." She lightly punched his arm and shifted on her feet. "Merle. The group."

"Nobody I'd ever wanna kiss goodbye though." He pulled her in and covered her mouth with his.

"You got somebody to miss you now..." She gasped, catching her breath and tasting him on her lips.

He pulled away shaking his head with a self-deprecating smile. "You're turning my life into a damn romance novel." He growled and returned his focus to checking the car's oil.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ...

The pavement hummed under the tires of the souped up sports car and Rick opened his window to feel the breeze as the they sped along the winding back road. Clyde sat up in the back seat and raised his nose into the wind picking up scents from the forest.

"I'm sorry Daryl."

"Huh?" He asked reaching behind the seat to pat his dog's head, keeping his other hand on the wheel.

"About the way I treated Myka. I should have trusted your judgement of her and I'm sorry I didn't."

Daryl nodded and Rick went on. "She saved Carl's life."

"What? When? She didn't say nothing to me about that."

"Me either, Carl asked her not to and she respected that. But he broke down last night and told me that when they were pulling watch at the gate yesterday, he saw Carol out trying to fix the water pump. I told nobody to go out there but she did...and a couple of Walkers cornered her cut her off from the gate. Carl ran out, helped fight them off and Carol made it inside. Then a bunch more came and surrounded my boy. Well Carol just left . Daryl, Myka jumped right in risking her own life for Carl. He said she was just there behind him and they fought four dead sons a bitches off by themselves."

"Sounds like Myka." Daryl smiled a little. "But don't sound like Carol. She didn't say nothing?"

"Carl didn't want to tell me she'd been out there against orders or that he'd gotten himself in trouble." Rick shook his head. "He said he's no rat. I haven't asked Carol about it yet." He looked pensive. "You'd think it would be the first thing Myka would go announcing to me especially with all that's been going on with Carol but she didn't. She didn't cause Carl didn't want me to know or you or anyone that Carol had done something so stupid and risky and that he'd almost died because of it. Myka saved my boy's life and she respected him. He told me all this himself though; he said he manned up and admitted it to me because Myka treated him like a man."

"Told you Rick, she's good people."

"Yeah," he drawled."You did and I'm sorry I acted like a jack ass before. She's one of us, no doubt."

"Thanks for making it right with me and all but Myka is the one you ought be saying this to."

.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .

"Are you a girl with an eye on the past?" Merle asked casually looking at Myka over his fanned hand of cards.

Myka shrugged. After dinner she and Merle usually played cards with Daryl but tonight they were on their own.

"What are you running from darlin'?" Merle asked with a curious gleam in his eye.

She smiled. "Nothing. Not anymore. "You?"

He nodded. "Heard that. If you keep running you bound to lose your way, that it? "

"Something like that. You just stay lost."

"My brother's slowing you down though, aint he?"

"Yeah. I'm staying put."

"Good. You're good for him."

She didn't know what to say.

"He'll be back by tomorrow. Don't you worry about him." Merle said as he laid down a five card straight.

"Fuck a duck!" Myka dropped her cards. "How do you do it? That's four games in a row."

The serene smile he showed only to a privileged few spread across his face. "I think I'm beating you by about a hundred points here. Will we be forfeiting the game, girlie?"

Myka wasn't really frustrated, but she played it up for laughs as Merle went through his ashtray and picked out all the butts with an inch or more left on them. Into his pocket they went, to be dissected and rolled up into homemades.

"Here come the leeches," Merle said as he finished up.

It was his term for some of the women in the group. It had seeped into her self-talk but she was doing her best to rise above and engage the others. "They're not so bad." She smiled as he walked out. After a short chat with Maggie and Beth Myka decided to turn in.

... ... .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .

Myka woke with a start, as had become her norm since the dead had stopped dying. Slivers of silver moonlight from the window across the cell block softly lit the room giving her some kind of an idea what time it was. Very late or very early. She cast a glance to her side, mildly lonely remembering that Daryl wasn't there. He wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Sighing, she sat up and stretched. She was restless, so she decided to walk downstairs to the kitchen area. She was surprised to see Carol sitting in the shadows.

"Whoa scared me for a second."

"I have insomnia," Carol explained. "I'm usually here this time of night." After a pause she added, "Come on and let me make you some tea." She turned her back and began to boil water on the camp stove. "I have a special calming brew I like to make."

Myka looked skeptical and thought of leaving but changed her mind. She was making an effort to get along with everyone. Maybe Carol was too? Alone with Carol in the commissary, Myka sat on the kitchen counter and accepted the cup, hoping it would be a gesture of good will. She took a sip, then said, "I really think we should talk. If we are going to live together like this I think we should to clear the air. "

Carol pursed her lips and waited for Myka to continue. "Carol, want to ask you about the other day. What happened? If you were scared I get it, but-"

"Scared?" Carol laughed. "I wasn't scared. I was testing you. I'd never let anything happen to Carl. I wanted to see how you'd handle it."

"You're kidding?"

"No, I'm very serious. You handled yourself adequately. Actually, I'd respect it if you hadn't hesitated. That one moment I saw the panic in your eyes, how you faltered. You're the one who was scared. Being scared gets people killed. I would never have hesitated for one second."

"Nothing wrong with a little fear. It's what keeps us human." Myka countered taking a large sip of tea. She pushed herself off the counter to her feet.

Carol shrugged off the comment refusing to acknowledge any positivity in fear. "You made it and saved Carl, I'm giving you credit. You know I've been through a lot," Carol began.

"We all have."

"True enough. I know you think I'm an evil bitch."

"You did threaten to kill me. Twice."

"And yet you did nothing about trying to kill me first."

Myka narrowed her eyes wondering what Carol was getting at. The older woman went on, "I would have. If the tables were turned and you threatened my life, I'd have attacked first. It's not personal. I'm not evil, I am a survivor. I am strong, strong enough to do what has to be done. There is no room for sentimentality anymore. No room for hesitation. Hesitate you lose; hesitate you die."

"In some cases sure, but..."

"No, in all cases. I don't hate you Myka. I don't hate anyone, I just refuse to lose anything else. The way the world is now, you are either a victim or a victor. I know what I am. If you're still alive, you've obviously fought hard, so don't think this is personal. I am a warrior with a job to do."

Myka felt dizzy and it wasn't just from Carol's words.

"Are you okay dear?" Carol asked as a knowing smile played on her thin, terse lips.

I'm fine. Just a little..." Myka replied as she swayed, unsteady on her feet.

"I just hope you understand that nothing happening to you now is personal."

"Happening to me? What do you mean..."

"This isn't something I want to do. It's something I have to do. You took Daryl away from me. Its fair play."

"Took Daryl?" Myka slurred. Her head was heavy and everything was slowing down. She grabbed the counter for balance.

Carol took her arm and steadied her. "Lets get you somewhere you can rest, hmm?"

It was the last thing Myka remembered.


	5. Chapter 5

_*Here we are at the end of this tale. I appreciate all of you who've enjoyed and were entertained by it. _ Honestly, though, I'm glad to be finishing up. __This chapter may feel a bit rushed and leave some unanswered questions and if so, I apologize but I need to bring it to a conclusion. _ This story hit a nerve out there and the anonymous, negative reviews are now pouring in yikes! I just wanted to use Fanfic as an outlet for the "what ifs" about characters. Its fiction, a place to use your imagination. Anyway, that response to this story opened my eyes to a different side of TWD fandom._

_*BUT on the opposite side of that spectrum, everyone who faved, followed and enjoyed this story outnumbered the haters. I send much love and thanks to you all. Virtual hugs and cake :) I am glad I could write something a little different that you all could_ r_elate to and enjoy. Your positive reviews/messages are all lovely and __thoughtful. YOU GUYS keep my faith in TWD fans and writing FanFic. You guys rock. xx_

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... . . . .

Myka woke in darkness. She was cold. The floor was concrete, and its chill permeated her whole body. She shivered violently, huddled inward, trying to warm herself. Her eyes slowly adjusted, and she was keenly aware of the throbbing in her head. She coughed, her throat was so dry and rough it felt like broken glass. Her limbs languished stiff and sore. _ I'm dreaming. This is a dream_. Myka lied to herself.

_This is no dream,_ replied the voice in her head, _and I'm in trouble._

For a long time, Myka did nothing. She waited, expecting _something_, but that something didn't happen. She was fully aware now, no longer in denial of her situation. She told herself not to panic; she wasn't sure why, but the voice assured her that it wouldn't accomplish much. Myka's stomach was churning, she was so hungry. She hadn't eaten since she'd been here. How long had she even been here? _I think its been a while..._

Fear flipped her stomach, her mouth had that sour taste, and she felt like she was going to throw up. What was going on? _Where am I? How did I get here?"_

_Carol. _She'd been talking with Carol and they started walking and that's all she remembered. _No, the tea._ _She put something in the tea._ _Congratulations, let my guard down for one minute._ The dank, musty smell made her realize she was in the tombs. She saw dim light seeping through a crack between the wall and what she hoped was a door. She felt along the concrete walls until she reached the handle of the slider. It wouldn't budge, secured from outside. She pulled and punched and banged on it to no avail. She thought about yelling, but was afraid she'd attract walkers. Oh what the hell, she couldn't get out and they couldn't get to her. She had to chance that someone was out there, that someone could hear her. Reality sunk in deeper and she realized Carol had put her in a tomb. She was supposed to die here.

... ... ... .. ... ... .. ... .. ... ... ... ... .. .

"We're late. Hope everyone is okay and not worrying too much." Rick mentioned as he and Daryl drove through the gate. They'd been gone an extra day, the Big Spot was further out than they had originally thought. They left Wednesday morning and were supposed to return Thursday during the day but it was late friday when they finally got back. Daryl just nodded, actually feeling a mix of guilt that he might have worried Myka but excitement at seeing her. He'd never actually missed anyone when he'd gone on runs. The feelings were new to him.

As they hauled supplies inside, Daryl noticed the grim expressions on the faces watching him. He figured that they were pissed at him for being late and worrying them. He looked for Myka among them but she wasn't there. She was probably angry at him and waiting for him to come to her. He rummaged in his pack for the jar of peanut butter he'd picked up especially for her and headed up the stairs two at a time. He'd make it up to her. Clyde raced up ahead of him.

"You missed your momma too huh?" He asked the dog.

"She wasn't in her cell. It looked bare. Daryl felt his stomach drop but realized she must have moved her stuff into his cell after all. He smiled to himself, but his face fell when he saw nothing there but his own mess.

When he turned he ran smack into Carol.

"She left Daryl."

"What?"

"I guess her true colors finally showed. She's not in this for the long haul. I saw this coming, Daryl. I'm sorry."

"You know this aint right. She wouldn't have just left. Not now. Not after..."

"Some women can't handle commitment, Daryl. That's the sad truth. She led you on, made you think she'd be by your side but that girl is a loner, you can tell she's never stayed in one place her entire life and no man is going to change a woman like that."

" I don't believe it. She wouldn't leave again. Something's wrong." Daryl knew Myka was solid with him. She wouldn't take off. So where the hell was she?

"Daryl face it, she didn't care about you. She left again."

He turned and headed back down stairs. "Something's wrong she's in trouble. She might be outside, hurt or..."

"Daryl where are you going?"

"To find her."

"She doesn't want to be found!"

Daryl stopped and for a moment considered the possibility that Myka had left of her own accord. As much as he wanted to believe it wasn't true, her stuff was gone. He realized the faces of the others as he'd entered the prison had that look of knowing something he didn't. He hated that look. Maybe she had changed her mind about him. _L___ook_ at me, of course she would. _"What? You wanna say I told you so or something?" He snapped

"Of course not. I just want to make sure you are okay." She placed her hand on his arm and he pulled away.

"Carol look, Myka wouldn't just leave. If she's gone, if she really left on her own, its cause you said something. Now I need to go and find her."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .

"She say anything to you?'" Daryl asked Merle as they headed to the front gate.

"Nope. And I'll tell you, nothing feels right about this. The morning after you left, it did look like she cleared out. I started thinking maybe she's just a spooked horse of a girl after all. But, when Carol said she saw her leaving, I think I smelled that she's stepping in."

"Think Carol forced her out, put her out here in the woods somewhere?"

"Told her to hit the road maybe?"

Merle spent the afternoon with Daryl scouring the woods and trying to track Myka but there was no sign of her. If she left she did a damn good job covering her tracks. Obviously she didn't want him to find her. Daryl slumped against a tree. "What do I do? I looked everywhere in the damn prison. I looked outside…I...Jesus Merle,maybe she did go. Maybe..."

Merle interrupted, "You gonna give up, huh? Brother, get your head out of your ass and stop feeling sorry of yourself and cry that every woman's just gonna leave you... its bullshit and its a waste of time. My gut is saying if she's not here somethings wrong. She's out there alone, probably scared and she needs you."

"What do I do?"

"Keep looking."

... ... ... ... .. ... .. ... .. ... .. .

Once back inside, Daryl didn't want to stop the search, but noticed how agitated Clyde was every time they approached the locked entrance to the tombs. He figured there were rats or possums in the passages. Clyde began whining and scratching at the floor under the iron gate.

"Whats up boy? We don't have time to fool around. Let's go."

The dog refused, and became more agitated, whining louder. Despite the danger of possible walkers in the far reaches of the building, he unlocked the door and let Clyde run through. The dog disappeared into the dark. After letting out two sharp barks the dog bounded back and looked at Daryl expectantly. 'What, you want me to follow you?" Clyde barked and urged Daryl to come with him.

He raised his bow and used the light to keep track of Clyde and follow the dog through the dim passageways. He hadn't been this far down in the tunnels since the first day they cleared the prison. His adrenaline began pumping from the hunt but also from his hesitant realization that Clyde was tracking his momma. The damn dog was taking him to Myka.

... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... .. .. .

She had no sense of time. Had it been five minutes since her world had changed? Five hours? Five days? The physical darkness around her, the lack of light, seemed pretty constant, but Myka was also drifting in and out of mental darkness. By now Daryl had to be back from the run. By now he knew she was missing and Carol must have told him Myka had left the prison again. She would have laughed if her throat wasn't so dry. The whole thing was insane. She'd finally found some semblance of happiness, finally decided to stay somewhere but she was stupid enough to let her guard down and now it was gone. If she could only let him know she didn't leave, she was all in… he was the best man she'd ever known; they'd only had a short time together but it was the happiest she'd ever been.

_Thank you for holding me in your strong arms like you would never let me go. And thank you for holding me while I cried. _

_Thank you for making love to me. For fucking me so hard that we both thought I had lost my mind. I will always remember how perfectly you fit inside. Thank you for literally screwing my brains out, those moments when I would collapse mindless and laughing against you. _Myka wasn't sure if she was speaking the words aloud or if they were just echoing in her head. She felt weaker, she knew she'd gone too long without water. _But the biggest lesson you taught me, the most important one of all is that I deserve more. I deserve a man who truly does love me as much as I love him, not just one that goes through the motions. I deserve a man who puts my needs above at least his wants...and on occasion even his own needs. I deserve a man who gives as much as he takes. I deserve a man who is free to love me as I love him. I showed him that too._

__I am going to die. I am going to die and he's going to think I left him._ _

... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ...

Clyde looked sure of his direction. "Where's she at boy?" Daryl asked absently stroking the dog's head stopped in front of a barricaded storeroom and began whining and frantically scratching the concrete floor.

Daryl moved aside the metal desk and random junk blocking the door. A padlock lock hung from the latch. He busted it off with the but of his bow. Pulling open the door he aimed the flashlight down to where Clyde had rushed. He was licking Myka's cheeks. She was not moving and her eyes remained closed despite the dog lapping her face and pawing at her.

Daryl dropped to a crouch and drew her body towards him. He peeled the long black hair away from her face. Her lips had turned blue in the cold and her eyelids were sealed shut.

"Come on beautiful, let me see those eyes," he whispered, swiping at the dirt. "Don't you be gone..." His voice broke at the realization he was too late.

Her eyes fluttered slowly open. Lifting her head she tried to speak, but the only thing that came from her voice box was a croak. Her throat muscles began to contract as she tried to draw saliva, but her mouth was bone dry, she was so thirsty that she almost dry heaved.

"Am I dead?" She finally rasped, emitting a deep, throaty voice that wasn't hers.

"No no, I got you. You aint..."

"Daryl? I'm not dead? I must be…" She struggled to right herself. He pulled her up to a sitting position. She squinted at the shafts of light cutting through the swirling dust behind him in the hall. Her face was dirty, hair a bit knotted. He brushed her bangs from her eyes, wanting to see them sparkle. Her parched throat allowed her to rasp out a few more words. "I was afraid you thought I'd left…I wouldn't. I wouldn't leave you…wouldn't- " her words were cut off by a coughing fit.

He held her through it and kissed the top of her head. "S'okay now."

"You found me."

"Clyde did. I'd never have come this far down here if that little fucker didn't bug the crap outa me." He smiled a little and looked at the dog, sitting contentedly by their feet, obviously satisfied that he'd done his job.

"What happened Myka?"

She shook her head. She was weak but slowly pulled herself up, with Daryl's help.

"Tell me how the hell you got here?"

'Ca…"

"Hey, can you walk?"

She swayed and he moved to pick her up.

"Uh uh! No way if you try to carry me like a fucking officer and a gentleman that's a deal breaker, right there." She leaned against the wall.

He removed his hands and held them up in surrender with a small chuckle. "Noted."

"If I had anything in my stomach I'd puke just thinking of it ."

He held out his arm for her as an anchor as they walked through the dim tunnel back to the cell block, Clyde leading the way.

"C'mon what happened?"

"Carol."

Daryl stopped and looked down at her. He was hoping she was gonna say she got lost or was avoiding walkers or anything other than what she'd just told him.

"She put something in my tea...drugged me and stuck me here. She said she had to do it that it wasn't personal. She wanted me to die Daryl."

Daryl didn't speak at first, He couldn't . But he answered "That's not her, that 's not Carol." Daryl didn't want to believe that his friend would betray him to this degree. "She did it?"

Myka nodded and knew by his set jaw and burning eyes he believed her. She saw anger, sadness and guilt passing through his stare as his eyes bore into her.

"I'm okay now. It's not your fault. I know that 's what you're thinking."

"She did it cause of me." He finally rasped out.

"No she did it cause she is not okay. She's unbalanced Daryl. Some of the things she told me were...just...she seems to have lost good judgment. Does that make sense?" Myka's voice was weak. "Like she really believes she is doing the right things."

"Hey, come on, let me get you to Herschel. Then I'll deal with Carol."

... ... ... ... .. .. .. .

"Daryl? Myka? What happened?" Rick charged across the common room when he saw Daryl supporting a dirty, exhausted barely standing Myka through the door.

"She's fine. I got her."

"Daryl what happened? Myka you're here? You didn't leave?"

He shook his head.

Rick continued his questioning. "Are you okay? You aren't bit or..."

"No, no nothing like that I..." Something told her that Daryl needed to tell Rick. She looked at him. He unclenched his jaw.

"Carol." He muttered.

"Are you saying..."

"Carol drugged Myka and trapped her in a room down in the tombs. She told me Myka left, hell she told all of us. She lied Rick. She tried to ki..." he couldn't finish his anger was welling.

"Okay calm down...we'll handle this. Together. "

"So you believe me?"

Rick scratched his beard. 'Yeah. I do. " He looked at Myka. He thought of Carl. His voice softened. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

She nodded, her voice finally gone completely from thirst and exhaustion.

"I know what you did for my son."

Daryl looked at Rick with gratitude. "Lemme get her to Herschel. First."

"Sure, whatever you need. I'm here Daryl."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. .. .

"You had problems with Myka. But what you did? That's not what people do. Life or death of another human being? That wasn't your decision to make." Rick stated.

Carol was silent.

"Daryl knows." Rick added.

" I can handle Daryl." Carol answered with surety.

" When the others find out, they won't want you here. And me, with Judith and Carl; with my children... I won't have you here."

"Rick, it's me. The others will understand. You can't make decisions for everyone."

" I'm making this decision for me.

"I could have pretended that everything was gonna be fine. But I didn't. I did something. I stepped up. I had to. That girl was going to ruin us."

"No, she wasn't. Look, you're not that woman who was too scared to be alone, not anymore. You're gonna start over, find others, people who don't know, and you're gonna survive out there. You will."

"Maybe."

"Carol." Daryl's husky deep tone reached her ears before she saw him approaching. "Did you try to kill Myka?" He asked not beating around the bush.

"Yes." The older woman was ashen-faced but her eyes remained hard and cold under her short cropped gray hair.

"You say you're my friend?" Daryl almost laughed with absurdity of the statement. "How can you live with yourself?"

"You have no idea what I can live, with what I do live with." She paused then looked past Rick straight at Daryl. "You can't be the good guy and expect to live. Not anymore." Yet, even as she said it, Carol looked beaten, she understood she had lost, and in time she would know the magnitude of her loss. Daryl felt slightly sorry for her, but the enormity of her betrayal made it easier for him, there was no doubt. His future would be without Carol.

"You know you have to go." Rick stated. Carol looked again at Daryl, her eyes narrowed but pleading.

"Go. What you did...just go." Daryl looked away.

Carol nodded accepting her fate. She was strong and she would survive, either alone or as the leader of another group. She'd never live under the rules and commands of another person again. The pain she felt at losing Daryl and feeling betrayed that he didn't stand up and defend her; he didn't finally, step up and claim her as his woman was unbearable and she knew she had to put it aside for the moment. She needed to tap into her focus and strength.

... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .

Carol put the last of her gear into the station wagon's trunk and closed the hatch. She turned to open the driver's side door when Myka stepped forward. "Hey."

"What do you want? You won, okay?" Carol said dismissively.

"Won? I was never in a fight with you. You were the only one fighting this battle and over what ? A man? Its ridiculous. He's a person Carol he's not a thing."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Maybe you don't. You tried to take away my life. That night, you said I took Daryl away from you. You were wrong. Daryl wasn't yours to take, just as he's not mine now. He doesn't belong to anyone not then, not now. None of this was a game. What you did doesn't make you the best player. What you did means you don't see the value in other people anymore. Sure, you are not a victim, but you're not a victor if you're the only one playing a game. "

"He says he's with you. That's…"

"A choice. He's a man Carol, he's not a piece of furniture you can own. He has free will. He chooses who he wants to be with. He's with me, he doesn't belong to me."

Carol didn't answer.

As dust flew up of beneath the retreating bald tires Myka reflected on the word. Choice. Choosing to be with someone meant accepting responsibility.

…. …. … … … … .. .. .. .. .. .. .

Myka lay on her bed, curled up with Clyde. "You are my hero, little man." She snuggled into his fur.

"And what does that make me?" Daryl slumped against the cell door.

"You're my guy, my fella."

Clyde jumped to the floor.

"She's gone."

"I know. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. How you feeling?" Daryl approached. She shrugged and he lay beside her. "Why didn't you say nothing about Carl?"

"Because he asked me not to."

"He's a kid."

"Exactly he's a kid and its important to treat kids with respect. It sucks when you're young and no one listens to you or respects you." She sounded like she was talking from experience.

He blanketed himself on top of her. His hardness against her thigh made her groan.

"You feeling better?"

"Mmm hmmm."

"Better enough for..."

She kissed him in response.

"How do you want it?" He asked fondling her breasts.

"I almost died, I want to feel alive, safe... Now please?" She pushed against him, "Hold me down, ground me...fuck me?"

"Myka always in a rush."

"No, you're too slow."

"Roll over onto your stomach so I can hold you down." He chuckled.

She rolled over, spread her legs, and pushed her hips up. She wanted him badly. He bent over her and grabbed the back of her neck and pushed it into the pillow. She moved her head to the side so she wasn't face down. He pushed in roughly. It felt right, they just fit. She never realized that a piece of her was missing. Daryl was that piece. Alone not lonely, alone together.

_I'm naked, beneath the lean mass of you._

_My fingers always grasping, looking for hand holds in the rock face._

_and your words drift into view,_

_"you wouldn't let me know you,_

_wouldn't show me your real self._

_goodbye."_

_But no, not this time. She let him know and this was not goodbye. _

Spent and relaxed, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift back over the events of the past few days. It was the first time she understood the words, "I love you." Those words weren't just something you say to someone to make them stay with you. They are a promise. They are a proclamation of a truth. They mean you accept the person with all their faults as long as they let you. Her thoughts were hazy and distracted by his warmth on the bed next to her. She reached over and pulled the blankets over them. She inhaled deeply and caught the faintest traces of his smell.

... ... ... ... ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. . .

Over time the prison group recovered from the loss of Carol, though many people missed her presence.

Myka and Daryl made a good pair, working and living side by side, supporting each other. And of course they could never get enough of each other, and hoped that would never change

She was still independent, but not as much as she once was, seeing as she had Daryl to lean on most of the time... And that was okay. She was still learning and growing, they both were, together. He pretended to hate how she treated their dog like a damn kid, but really he was touched.

Myka's past was a hike and a half but that's all the past and now she looked forward to an eternity with Daryl. Or at least a tomorrow.

... ... ... ... .

_If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.- Osho_


End file.
